Andrew's Rants.

CARMIKE CINEMAS

it’s time for the Rant and Rave of the Week and it’s about the movie viewing experiences available here in Johnson City, TN. This week Carmike Cinemas are the target of my ire. Each time I go there I become so frustrated that I promise myself that I will never go again. The last movie I saw there was the "Haunted Mansion" by Disney. I assume it was a good movie that’s why I went to see it. But Disney has no control over the sloppy and downright deplorable practices of this fine establishment. The move started late, not really an issue in the overall viewing experience but I have a hang up about promptness as anyone who knows me will tell you. Then the film became twisted in the projector 20 seconds into the previews so that it was like
looking through a kaleidoscope. This went on throughout the previews until I got up, went out found one of the "Human Shaped Monkeys" that worked there and informed them of the problem. Why should I have to do their job for them? Isn’t the projectionist supposed to be keeping track of these things? What are they being paid to do up there in that booth, pick their noses? I resumed my slouched viewing pose in the somewhat sticky chair encrusted with mystery stains.

Now this theatre sports the touted "Stadium Seating" and is relatively new. Why can’t they keep up the investment of their recent renovation by occasionally doing more than sweeping the floor? After a movie there, I feel like "Spiderman" because the soles of my shoes are so sticky that I feel as if I could walk up a wall, and don’t even get me started on the goo that is splotched among various seats. I’ve sometimes wished I had one of those sanitary covers like some restrooms offer. At this point, about 7 minutes into the movie, I noticed that the sound track was out of sync with the video track. I thought they were all locked together on the film I didn’t know they could even get out of time. It wasn’t too bad and I decided to just grin and bear it. Instead I focused on ignoring the main problem I have with this particular theater. It is one that I have spoken to the managers about on more than one occasion. The image on screen is always bright in the middle but becomes progressively darker around the edges. It’s almost
like tunnel vision. The director made the movie with the blocking of the entire screen in mind. But Carmike Cinemas in Johnson City appear to turn down the intensity of their projection bulbs to prolong the life of the unit. They are apparently quite expensive. But this practice results in providing a dim and underpowered image. The edges in bright scenes are noticeably darker as if seen through a pair of sun glasses. Darkened scenes such as a "Nighttime Shot" disappear into obscurity. On the occasions that I have voiced complaints, I have been told that this was not the practice of the theatre; but, the evidence provided me by my own eyes and the opinion of a friend who is a 30 year veteran of theatre management say otherwise. I gritted my teeth and endured the dim lighting and flickering edges. However after 20 minutes into the movie the sound was so far out of sync that it was like watching one of those old Godzilla films where the voice-overs leave the actors mouths moving for several seconds after the dialog has stopped. In this case you would hear a door slam almost a second after it happened on film. You might not think a second is a long time but look in the mirror and try a little lip syncing and see what a big visual difference it makes. Once again I stepped out of the movie and asked an indifferent Pimple Faced Teen in the attire of an employee if he could address the problem. I decided to wait for a response and also to see if his attention span would allow him to actually convey my message to someone with a higher than room temperature IQ. Shortly another Pizza Faced Teen returned with me to theater to see the problem for himself, as if perhaps I was making the complaint up for my own amusement. We stepped in far enough to see the screen. Eddy Murphy’s dialog was now almost 2 seconds out of sync with his lips. "Pizza Face" looks at me and says, "I don’t see a problem Sir. That’s the way it’s supposed to be". I’m sure I goggled at him in amazement for a moment until I realized that my goldfish more than likely had more going for it than this parody of a Sentient Being. At that point, I asked to speak to management and was informed that none were available until later in the evening. Gee, I wonder why the place is run like a "Third Rate Dollar Cinema on the Bad Side of Town". I got a refund on my admission price and left.

So here we have a movie that cost Millions to make and Hundreds of People who put everything into getting the smallest detail just right, and we don’t get to see the end result as intended. What we get is an Out-of-Sync, Under-lit Piece of Celluloid that in no way resembled what was intended by Disney at all. My solution is this. Complain to the management if you are not happy. Don’t just sit there and take it. If you don’t do anything, no one will ever change things. One of my favorite sayings is “You are the Consumer not a Victim” remember that advice.

We do have alternatives. The Reel to Real Theatre on North Roan Street is smaller with fewer screens but if there is a problem they will fix it, and you are not treated like an inconvenience if you wish to discuss an issue. The theatre has recently undergone a renovation and while I am not happy with the screen sizes, the sound is decent and the place is well kept, all except that poor worn out Galaga machine in the lobby. Somebody please either shoot it, or fix it but don’t just leave it to suffer like that. There is Tri Cities Cinema on the way to Bristol in the same shopping center as Carolina Pottery which offers a superior viewing experience to the Carmike Fiasco and if you want a truly quality movie going experience the Tinsel Town Cinemas in Bristol offer the areas only THX Certified Theaters. In fact, they might just be the only ones with that prestigious honor in the entire region. Sure it’s a drive but it’s worth it. The only downside to these three alternatives is distance for the last two mentioned and the fact that none of them have online ticket sales through sites such as Movies.com or Fandango.

Keep in mind there are alternatives and if you are not happy let the management know. Otherwise you are just a sheep who takes whatever they might want to foist off on you at the Johnson City Carmike Cinemas.